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Sending Men Jokes text messages to your friends is only half the fun Txt2day has compiled a growing list of Men Jokes text messages just for you. If you want to make your friends laugh these funny SMS messages will be a hit. Just select a message and click to send it free with txt2day!

Men jokes


Men are like old car tires.Balding, full of hot air, and it never hurts to have a spare.

Why dont women work as long and as hard as men in the office?They do it right first time.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?A. A widow.

How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.



Q. Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?A. No phone numbers.

Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?A: It changes their blood type.

How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?Both of them.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks hes Gods gift? Exchange him.

Whats a man idea of helping with the housework?Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Q: Whats the best way to kill a man?A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

QUESTION: Why are lifesavers better than men? ANSWER: They come in five flavors.

Men are like power tools.They make a lot of noise, but its hard to get them to work.

Why dont men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

Q. Why do men buy electric lawn mowers? A. So they can find their way back to the house.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?Close the door.

Men are like plastic wrap.Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.

How do you lose fourteen stone of fat?Dump him.

Men are like horoscopes.They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Q. How can you tell if a man is happy? A. Who cares?

Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly and poor woman?A: Desperate!

Why are men like paper cups? Theyre disposable

Why did God create a man before a women?You need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

How many men does it take to make popcorn?Four, one to hold the pot, and three to act macho and shake the stove.

Why did God create men first? Because we learn from mistakes.

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