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Sending Men Jokes text messages to your friends is only half the fun Txt2day has compiled a growing list of Men Jokes text messages just for you. If you want to make your friends laugh these funny SMS messages will be a hit. Just select a message and click to send it free with txt2day!

Men jokes

Q. Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?A. Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Q. Whats the fastest way to a mans heart? A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?A hot dog and a six pack.

Q. How do men define a "50/50" relationship?A. We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

This man says to his friend," I stopped driving 10 years ago. Now my wife drives and I just sit there and hold the wheel."

What is the difference between men and pigs?Pigs dont turn into men when they drink.

Men are like plastic wrap.Cheap. Clingy. And very easy to see through.

Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly and poor woman?A: Desperate!

Q. Why do men like smart women?A. Opposites attract.

Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Real Men arent afraid of the dark.

Why do men act like idiots?Who says theyre acting?

Men are like high heels. Theyre easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Q. Whats a mans idea of honestly in a relationship?A. Telling you his real name.

Q. How can you tell if a man is happy? A. Who cares?

If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no womenaround to hear him, is he still wrong?

Men are like plungers.They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?A widower.

Why do little boys whine?Because theyre practicing to be men.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.Teach him how to fish and he will sitin a boat and drink beer all day.

Q. Why cant men get mad cow disease?A. Because theyre all pigs.

Q: Whats the best way to kill a man?A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks hes Gods gift? Exchange him.

Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?A: It changes their blood type.

Men are like remote controls.Simple. Easy to use. And usually lying around a TV.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

Q: Why is it dangerous to let your mans mind wander?A: Its too little to be out alone.

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